Twas the night before Christmas -
A Friday night, too -
And my friend, Holly's, birthday
was quite the to-do.
When we searched for a bar that
Would stay open late
It appeared that our outing
Was planned out by fate.
For was only one bar that
Would pour Christmas Eve -
Our beloved Streets of London -
Not hard to believe.
It was already late-ish,
That is, if you're old,
So I sought out a partner
To keep out the cold.
I had one friend named Laura
Who wanted a ride
On my big motorcycle.
Like The Dude, I'd abide.
So I stole her from rapture
Of films well conceived,
And we went for a bike ride
On this Christmas Eve.
We both rode to Old Sacto
To see all the lights
And my timing was perfect
For them to flash bright.
I turned right back around and
We headed on home.
Then I dropped her right off and
Was back on my own.
Like old Santa I flew to
The bar and my crew
Prepped for much merry-making
You know that it's true.
My dear Holly was there with
Danielle and three more:
There was Cynthia, Carly,
And Annie, the whore.
They drank Blue Moon with oranges
By pitcher and pint
And they chatted with boys who
Just might treat them right.
There were Mexican soldiers
Whom Annie had found
And some Firemen with sweaters
Of purplish brown.
Yes the time rolled on by us
And two-o'clock struck
Then the bar made us head home
No matter how drunk.
I then turned to Danielle, with
her pretty blond bob,
I said, "How 'bout a ride on
My big orange hog?"
Oh her eyes sparkled grey at
The thought of a ride
So we walked to my Shadow
Parked barely outside.
Then I gave her a helmet,
All decked out with chains,
I acquired my own with
Orange stripes bright as flames.
I turned over the motor
And she roared to life.
And Danielle held on tighter,
Eyes grey as a knife.
So we drove all of nine blocks
And parked by her door,
Then she asked me to enter
And see what's in store,
When the door opened warmly
And sound blasted out,
Twas a party upon us
Of that we'd no doubt.
The Italian neighbor,
Andrea by name,
And his lovely partner,
His wife - quite a dame -
They had brought champagne over
And cake from a box
Thus the party was on now,
Twas just three-o'clock.
The next twenty-four hours
The T.V. would play
just the film "Christmas Story"
for all Christmas day.
While it played in the background
And Chris served the roast,
We all raised up our glasses
For a Christmas toast.
As the hours kept on rolling
The girls went to sleep.
Firstly Annie, then Carly
Upstairs they did creep.
There were Laura and Chris who
Now slept in a chair
While Danielle and I cuddled
Now barely aware
That Andrea was drinking
The wine from each cup
Though the clock in my pocket
Chimed five when it struck.
I decided to mosey
My sluggish way home
Since the sun would be rising
In air cold as stone.
I said, " 'night" to the party
And guests in the house
And I crept to my Shadow
As hushed as a mouse.
Twas now Christmas's morning
And I just got home.
A successful fiesta
Spent far from alone.
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